RAT'S ASS

In crowded hallways and all places public, we have all had intense eye-contact moments. With random strangers. Sometimes we ignore. Many times we are creeped out. Other times we are game. For a session of hot and reciprocated stare. Okay, no heat, but reciprocation, yes. And as scientists who have closely observed social behaviour in Antarctica, suggest, we might go down in history as level amateur bad-ass people. (There, there, hold your champagnes yet.)

My peanut of a brain has rigged images of bad-assery for me. I am sure you will relate. Think bad-ass. Think Bear Grylls. Think Bruce Willis. Or Seal Team Six, anybody? Think Evey Hammond. Or Uma Thurman. Think Bane. Think Lara Croft. Or Walter White. (Breaking Bad-ass.) Random thought number one: Notice the lack of hair in half the people here.

You don't actually have to be bad and live on the edge to be badass. Free-spirited and having an eye for adventure in life's tiniest details works. Listening to your inner Beelzebub can be fun sometimes. But only a little, because you sure don't want to deal with Karma later. It is good to be careless and not give a shit sometimes.

It is okay to pose stupid for the CCTVs. Bunk classes. Dress inappropriately. Venture into restricted places. Sneak out. Manage multi-personalities. Pull practical pranks. Guys will understand this; use a urinal which is next to an occupied one, in an otherwise empty row of urinals. *Urinal politics gone wrong, anyone?*

Be careful of other imposter asses. Here's a small walk-through that will help. You took the pills your vet prescribed? Sick-ass. Literally. You bought Apple shares when they were cheap? Smart-ass. You got upgraded to Business Class at no extra charge? Lucky-ass. You pelted stones at Yuvi's house over some World Cup? Dumbass. You took a selfie in the loo and shared it all over internet? Insta-ass. Yes, I like all my puns intended.

Random thought number two: Doesn't selfie seem like a legit euphemism? I gave myself a quickie or ummm...selfie! Think about it.

Don't confuse innocent badassery for notoriety. You don't want to be that prick who is conveniently hated. Don't get personal and more importantly, don't be a badass at somebody else's expense. 

Being bit of a badass will add to your charm. It is like a crooked next level of a good sense of humour. A tinge of bad-assery will take you a long way. And so will those heavily endorsed extra-mile fuels. Same pinch, huh?

WANDERLUST

There is funny solace

In length of the road

And the breath of destination.

If I could be anybody

I would be a secret, 

Kept alive by centuries of tradition; 

Native to some,

And yet mystery to most.

I want to see everything,

Be everyone,

And get lost in my own translation.

If I finish soon

And if it's not too late,

Then take me home.

Seventh World Problems

Almost there.

Delusional Diaries: Zero Zero One

One of these days Martin Scorsese will be sworn as the President. But, until that happens, I'll have to contain my feelings. Probably riding a unicorn in cowboy attire, the way I do, will help display my emotions. Joyous emotions. And of course, to know that Scarlett Johansson has finally accepted my dinner proposal, will give me two things to look forward to now.  

One plus one reasons for celebration, that is. Two toasts. Martin and Scarlett Johansson. One for Prez and the other for dinner. I mean to have dinner with. That was honestly by mistake. Not a dig at the gourmet cannibal community. Who, in their right mind, would want to offend the cannibals?

Whatever Makes You Happy

No, this post is not about the book with which it shares its title. Yes, that is a great book though, and totally recommended. No, I won't let you borrow it. Yes, you might find it on Amazon. Might. That's the word. Anyway.

There are blunderous combinations of flesh and blood. And then, there are people. Real people. Flesh and blood alright, but immensely real. Now, why I love this real lot is because they are always on their personal pursuits of happiness. Isn't that what life is all about? Wasn't that the lesson our wisemen and women from history trying to shove into our heads?

Being happy is not rocket science. Moreover, our quest for it need not be long-term. Instant, impulsive and unplanned happiness is always good news. Yeah, that's my big haul from two-oh-one-three! Do what makes you feel good in the moment. It is worth defying logic and rationale. It is the right thing to do. And it has to be done. More often. Squeezed. Until it ceases to make you happy. No second thoughts. 

One of the most cheerful words that you will ever come across. Happy. Dream is more cheerful but then aren't they both same in essence!

Whatever makes you happy needs to be done right now. Unless of course, if you are Al Qaeda. Then that would suck. Totally!

Un-Indian Shenanigan

So, in all my headphoned glory, I was on a routinely evening run in the park, when this wild black cat suddenly crosses my path. 

Actually, it was brown! Or grey. Some shade of orange, I think! Damn you colour-blindness!

Excreta For Breakfast

Exams are on, and inspiration's being a bitch (and I want to write a blog. Hah!). This one's related (kind of) to the last post. It is not that bad. Seriously.

The reason they say that wisdom comes with age is absurd! The people who had jumped (yes jumped!) to this conclusion (i.e. wisdom and age being directly proportional) must have been in the company of folks who were not-so-wise-when-young. But, brimming with philosophy a là Socrates, wisdom, worldly advice, anecdotes and funny sense-of-humour in their fragile years. Hence the proverb! 

Since observation has been the tool here, it will be even fair to create proverbial wisdom based upon my personal cynical scrutiny of the world! For instance, all the wise dudes and dudettes I know, have this habit of using a lot of swear words, eating their pizza with a lot of seasonings, emptying their stomachs religiously early mornings and also, they speak a lot of sense when they are totally drunk! Thus, I can (confidently) conclude that wisdom comes from fouler words, spicier pizzas, clearer bowels and outright sloshed minds! Since science has no role in verification of epigrams, I stand unchallenged. 

Some of the ancient souls of the 21st century have pioneered to blindly spoonfeed us with things which have been used, re-used, clichèd and excreted by the pre-Facebook generations! Why should we make their wrongs ours too? Maybe, wisdom comes with age. Sometimes lunacy also. And blindness too. Joint-pain. Not to mention dementia. And amnesia. And ofcourse, Parkinson's.  But I see no proverbial commom-sense being sermonized on that. 

You have to be either bravely insane to embrace such nonsense or to be fed on poop to fall in such skewed line of thought.